Eugene was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Eugene how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Eugene and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Eugene! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Eugene's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Eugene that he thinks Eugene's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Eugene says.
"President Obama," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Eugene says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Eugene on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Eugene, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Eugene, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Eugene.
"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Eugene and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Eugene says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Eugene emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Eugene returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Eugene asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Eugene?"