More Funny Christmas Crackers

What bee can never be understood? ...
A mumble-bee.

What do you call a bull asleep on the ground? ...
A bulldozer.

What do you call a sick crocodile? ...
An illigator.

What do you call a train loaded with toffee? ...
A chew chew train.

Why don't bananas sunbathe? ...
Because they'd peel.

Why do birds fly south in winter? ...
Because it's too far to walk.

Did you hear about the leopard who had a bath every day? ...
He's spotless.

What do hedgehogs have for lunch? ...
Prickled onions.

Where does Tarzan buy his clothes? ...
A jungle sale.

What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur? ...
A doyouthinkhesawus.

What do cats like for breakfast? ...
Mice crispies.

What do you call a man with a paper bag on his head? ...
Russell.

What do you call a gigantic polar bear? ...
Nothing - you just run away.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? ...
Claustrophobic.

Who is the most famous Russian billiard player? ...
Inoff the Red.

What did one wall say to the other wall? ...
I'll meet you at the corner.

How do you hire a horse? ...
Stand it on 4 bricks.

What do you call a man who used to be interested in tractors? ...
An ex-tractor fan.

Teacher: Where are the Andes? ...
Pupil: At the end of the armies.

Customer: How come this car is covered with dents - you said it had had one careful owner. ...
Salesman: The others weren't so careful.

What do you call a man with a spade? ...
Doug.

Why don't ducks tell jokes while they are flying? ...
Because they would quack up.

Who is the most famous unmarried woman in the USA? ...
Miss Issippi.

Who is the most famous married woman in the USA? ...
Mrs. Sippi.